One of the things that I want to know after I have children is the method of rearing children which I can employ on my children so that my children are  guided to the true path  that is, obtain the pleasure of Allah and become successful in this world and hereafter. I am sure if such method exists, all parents would like to implement the method to their children and obtain good children. All of us want to have good children but without employing the correct method of rearing children, a method that really work to our children; we will not get good children. I had been thinking about it for a very long time. Who will show me the correct method of bringing up children so that when I implement the method on my children, it works and produce results? Previously I do not know the method of rearing children that will produce good children. Sincerely, until now, I dare not write a book on methods of rearing children because I think I have not found the method that really works. What do I mean by a method that really works? A method that really works is the method when employed on our children it really produce good children. I have eight children and since they were small, I have tried many methods including the method that I have learned from my parent but I have not found the one that really works. Until recently, I was in the dark about child rearing but now I am convinced that I have found the one that will work. Now, all my children have grown up and the youngest is already 16 years old. At the age of 58, I am still motivated to find out the method of rearing children that will produce good children.

In my case at the age of 58, I found the correct method of rearing children that really works, but I will not be able to apply it on my children. The method is not for my children but for rearing the children of other peoples of the world. I have only one intention; to invent a method of rearing children that really works so that the entire humanity will become successful and the Creator of humanity will be pleased with me. My parents using the method probably learned from my grandparents brought me up. I think the method used by my parents and all other parents in the world in rearing children are based neither on careful scientific studies nor on sound understanding of the Quran and Hadis. There are not many books written on the subject of child rearing and most of the books concentrate mainly on the qualities of good children. I think I have never found or read a book that explains the method of child rearing clearly and when the method is employed on children, it really works in producing good children and the study is supported with clinical evidence.

Method is ways in doing thing and in this case ways in rearing children. We love eating but there are methods or ways of eating. What differentiate us from the animals who also love eating is in the method or way of eating. Allah the Creator of both human and animal has not ordered a specific method or way of eating to the animal but Allah has ordered man not only to eat when they are hungry but Allah has also ordered men to eat in a certain way. When men eat because it is the order of Allah, in the way Allah wants, with the intention to please Allah, then the act of eating become an act of worship. Similarly, Allah has ordered men to rear their children in the way Allah wants, with the intention to please Allah, until Allah is pleased. There is no way prescribed by Allah to the animals to rear their children. What is the way to rear children, which is prescribed by Allah to men? Allah must have told us in the Quran and Prophet Muhammad saw must have told us in the Hadis about the correct way to rear our children. The way to rear children correctly is a very important subject in human development and progress. When men are not rearing their children the way Allah wants, men will rear their children like the animals do and when we are rearing our children like the animals do we are not building a human civilization but rather an animal civilization. We may look like human but our behavior is more like the animals and our civilization may look like a human civilization but in reality, it is an animal civilization. It is an absolute important that we must know the way to rear our children; the way Allah wants if we want to develop a human civilization instead of an animal civilization. In order to know the way of rearing children the way Allah wants, we must look at the Quran and the Hadis.

I have read a Hadis a couple of years ago with the approximate meaning; “Teach your children to speak Lailahaillallah when your children start to know how to speak”. In other Hadis with an approximate meaning; “The Prophet Muhammad saw said; teach your children the fear and the love of Allah”; “Teach your children to love Prophet Muhammad saw”; “What is the basis of good action, Prophet Muhammad saw answered; the fear of Allah” .When the fear and the love of Allah is in our children heart, our children’s actions will be in accordance to the command of Allah. In another Hadis, “Prophet Muhammad saw used to say that the heart is the king of man and if the heart of man is good, then man is good. Man is good when their actions are good”. In another Hadis, “Prophet Muhammad said; the heart of man will be good when the heart has correct iman and the heart will have correct iman when the men speak correct words”. In the Quran, Allah says, “Whose speech is better than the speech of those who call peoples to Allah”. What is the meaning of who calls peoples to Allah; to call people to Allah mean to invite the non-Muslims to the recite the Great Kalimah ; “There is no God except Allah and Muhammad is the messenger of Allah” and to remind those who has recited the Great Kalimah about the meaning and the right of the Great Kalimah. The right of the Great Kalimah is to enjoin people to good and forbid them from evils. From the verses of the Quran and the Hadis as aforementioned, I have derived to the conclusion that man will become according to the words that man often speaks and hears repeatedly. I have come to the conclusion that words that man speaks and hears repeatedly can either become a medicine or poison to man’s heart. How man will know on how to speak correctly? Man will only know how to speak good words after man has listened to good words. Allah will teach His beloved slave the good words. What are good words and how to speak the good words? Do many parents know how to speak good and correct words?

When someone speaks to her children like this; “You must work hard, otherwise you will not be able to eat”. Is this a correct word to speak to our children? Why do we work? It is true that work will gives us food to eat? The truth is we work because it is the order of Allah. None can give us food except Allah. Our work is not our sustainer and provider but Allah is our sustainer and provider. How should we speak to our children correctly? We should speak to our children like this; “You must work hard, it is the order of Allah, otherwise Allah is not pleased with you”. Are there any parents who speak to their children like that? One other example of wrong words, we often speak to our children; “You must eat, otherwise you will be hungry”. Is it a correct word to say to our children? It is not the correct way to talk to our children. What is the correct way to talk to our children that will make Allah please with us? The correct way to speak to our children should be like this; “If you are hungry, you must eat because it is the order of Allah to eat when you are hungry; otherwise Allah is not please with you”. Are there any parents in this world who speak to their children the way I have written above? Many words spoken by parents to their children are wrong and these wrong words are poison and when these wrong words are spoken and heard repeatedly, it cause wrong belief and wrong perception to enter into the hearts and minds of our children. When man has wrong belief and wrong perception, man will do wrong actions. Man with wrong actions is known as bad man. Because man does not know how to talk to their children correctly; they will certainly speak to their children with wrong words. Their children in turn will hear and speak the wrong words. Because of this; children are brought up with wrong beliefs, wrong perceptions and wrong actions. Unless we are able to intercept the process, none of our children will be able to talk correctly. Children must hear correct words before they can talk correctly.

In order for our children to be able to speak correctly, they must hear words spoken to them correctly. In order to do this we must record the correct words and we must let our children to hear the correct words and to repeat the correct words. Everyday this process must be done repeatedly for at least three times in a day. With the grace of Allah, I have invented a therapy known as self-talk therapy and parents need to sit with their children and they must let their children to hear and repeat the correct words. Over a period of time, a time will come when the children will be able to talk correctly. When the children are able to talk correctly, their beliefs, perceptions and actions will become correct. Man with correct actions is known as good man. Children, from birth to the age of six can take the therapy known as “Taska Bestari”, children from the age of seven to twelve can take the therapy known as “Sekolah Rendah Bestari” and children from the age of thirteen to seventeen can take the therapy known as “Sekolah Menengah Bestari”. Each set of therapy consist of seven CD and each CD consists of twenty correct words or sentences and each sentence will be played three times and the children need to repeat the correct words for three time. Total time taken to complete twenty correct words is about seven to eight minutes. Each set consist of seven CD and one CD for every day. My research on the use of these CD on children has started since seven years ago. I have observed, children who have undertaken the therapy for seven years have shown remarkable results. They are able not only to speak correctly but also to guide their parents to talk correctly. The children are obedience to their parents, started praying five times daily at the age of seven without the need to remind them ,fond of going to school, like to study and able to talk correctly at all times.

Beside praying five times daily prayer there is another order of Allah we should enjoin our children to do, which is explicitly mention in the Quran, with approximate meaning; “O my son, perform solat, enjoin people to good and forbid peoples from evils and bear with patient whatever befall you”. “Verily, these are some of the important commandment ordered by Allah with no exemption”. In the therapy, “Sekolah Rendah Bestari” and “Sekolah Menengah Bestari”, words enjoining the children to do the work of enjoining good and forbidding evils are also included among the twenty words prescribe in the CD. Generally Muslims do not know the way to do the work of enjoining good and forbidding evils. Generally, Muslims all over the world have abandoned the work of inviting peoples to good and forbidding peoples from evils. Muslims all over the world do not know the meaning of good and also the meaning of evils. Muslims all over the world have misinterpreted the meaning of evils and good. Although Muslims are not doing the work of inviting peoples to good and preventing peoples from evils, the way shown by our Prophet Muhammad saw but Muslims all over the world claim that they have done the work of inviting peoples to good and forbidding peoples from evils. Muslims do not know that the greatest evil done by mankind is to refuse to recite “There is no God except Allah, and Muhammad is the Prophet of Allah” and the greatest good done by mankind is the willingness to recite the Great Kalimah. On the other hand the greatest evil done by Muslims is they do not convey the Great Kalimah to the non-Muslims and they do not pray five times daily prayers and the greatest good done by Muslims is to convey the Great Kalimah to the non-Muslims and to pray five times daily prayers. Many Muslims do not pray and almost all Muslims all over the world do not perform the work of inviting peoples to good and forbidding peoples from evils as shown by our Prophet Muhammad saw. When Muslims are not performing the work of inviting peoples to good and forbidding peoples from evils, Muslims are not fulfilling the right of the Great Kalimah. When Muslims are not fulfilling the right of the Great Kalimah, Muslims are doing evils and Allah is not pleased with the Muslims. When Allah is not pleased with the Muslims, Allah does not put the Great Kalimah into the heart of Muslims. When the Great Kalimah is not in the heart of Muslims, the actions of Muslims are devoid of iman and sincerity. Prophet Muhammad saw said in the approximate meaning; “When Muslims are not fulfilling the right of the Great Kalimah, Muslims will have no peace in their heart and Allah will shower calamities to the Muslims”.

I have tried to explain theoretically as well as practically the work of inviting peoples to good and forbidding peoples from evils in this blog as well as in  my Facebook and YouTube. Kindly read the articles on Dakwah and Mosque  in profnasoha.com. When Allah permit, I am trying to produce a manual for the work of inviting peoples to good and forbidding peoples from evils. With the grace of Allah, with some of my friends, I have done the work of inviting peoples to good and forbidding peoples from evils in a group form in our Masjid Ar-Rahimah, Taman Greenwood, Batu Caves, Selangor, Malaysia. It is fardu Kifayah to the males’ members of any Muslims community in a locality, to do the work of inviting peoples to good and forbidding peoples from evils in a group form and it is fardu ain to all other Muslims, males and females to do it individually.  When our children have grown up to the age of thirteen, they must be persuaded  to do the work of inviting peoples to good and forbidding peoples from evils as Allah has told in the Quran in Surah Luqman (verse 17) as well as to perform five times daily prayers. In my opinion, this is the way, Muslims all over the world should rear their children and if all Muslims have decided to do as I have proposed in this article, I believe we will be able to produce good children and good men in the whole world. All praises belong to Allah.

Prof Dr Nasoha Saabin
April 2012
Integrative Holistic Wellness Centre